Empty

Some people may think that since nothing developed, I shouldn't have any type of remorse.  How can you mourn for something that was never there?  For over 2 weeks, I felt typical symptoms.  I hoped and prayed that I would soon hear the heartbeat of my offspring, to see a circle, a bean growing inside of me.  I kept the secret between a few in hopes of sharing the news to the world with the image of my womb.  But to my utter dismay, the image of emptiness burned a hole in my heart.  All at once, the last two weeks began to feel as empty as what I saw on the screen.  My empty promises to my son that he was going to be a big brother.  The empty plans that left me to wonder what I will do next.  The emptiness that will never be filled with the one who never had a chance in this world.  Who knew you could cry for someone that was never someone?

Today, the remains of what was suppose-to-be have been removed so that my body can start to heal and begin the cycle again. But what has been removed, will always have a place in my heart.  And all I can do is continue to pick up the pieces and keep hoping and praying.